Ray-Zee

Since we have known mankind, we have known the fathers to be the breadwinners and mothers as the nurturers. There are ample examples where we can see mothers being the only ones who took care of the child and provide physical and emotional support while raising a child. Whereas, we observed that fathers parent differently. 

Fathers Parent Differently – What It Is & Why It Matters

Since we have known mankind, we have known the fathers to be the breadwinners and mothers as the nurturers. There are ample examples where we can see mothers being the only ones who took care of the child and provide physical and emotional support while raising a child. Whereas, we observed that fathers parent differently. They came across as a distant family member who didn’t indulge with the children and just hustled to provide for the family financially.

fathers parent differently

Surprisingly, it was always known and accepted that fathers bring a rather parallel parenting style to mothers. Fathers are not just a paycheque. The presence of a father or a father figure in a family brought a different perspective for the kids. It may have been because essentially men and women are different and they deal differently given their nature and personality. However, the importance of fathers in raising successful children was put on paper just recently.

Father Do Not Mother! What’s The Difference?

When you look at it with a closer lens, it is evident that there is a significant difference between the parenting styles that each gender chooses. This difference is actually much needed as it creates a balance that results in big benefits for the children.

All in all, a child needs parents who are involved and aim at building a brighter future for their kids. Be it a mother or a father. They both have a strong impact on a child’s overall well-being. Hence, we can establish the fact that fatherhood is just as important as motherhood for a child’s healthy development.

We know that fatherhood is a complex phenomenon that can affect a child’s development in multifold. There is no competition between who loves their child the most – the mom or the dad. The topic of discussion is about the qualitative nature of the love that mom and dad exhibit towards their children. There are some vivid elements in the father’s parenting style that set them apart and create a bundle of benefits for the children.

Fathers parent differently

The way a father communicates or interacts with his child is very different from a mom’s. It is contrasted enough for an 8-week-old infant to create a distinction between mom and dad. Even studies have shown that a mother tries to make her child’s life easier. Whereas the father proposes ideas that are challenging and encourage risk-taking. Generally, where a mom sees the rest of the world in relation to their child, a father has the opposite approach. They see the world in relation to their kid.

A father doesn’t hold back and puts forward a clear, direct, and an on-point perspective without any buffers – what usually moms do. Their interaction alone is enough for the children to learn about diversified communications (verbal, expressions, and body language) to deal with others in a broader vision. Fathers parent differently to prepare their kids for things they might encounter in the world – a.k.a the harsh realities.

A father’s tough love

Fathers are often labeled as insensitive parent who doesn’t care much about their child’s feeling. While this is not completely true but some instances resonate well with such statements. I mean, have you ever heard anyone say “let your mom come home!” or “I’ll tell mom”. No, right? It’s all just about the dads.

The reason behind a father’s tough love is their courageous nature and a dire need to enforce discipline. Children see their father as a serious person who is also the head of the family. When a dad says something, you have to do it. Because it is a serious matter. Most children would never take their dads for granted – which is very common for moms on the other hand.

Fathers are the utmost realists. They know very well how the world works and want to teach their children the same. Generally, they have a low tolerance for inadequate attitudes. They would rather prefer to be direct and sharp rather than be overly conscious about their child’s feelings.

Playtimes are different with fathers

Fathers actually play with their children. Unlike moms who are primarily focusing on taking care of their child even during playtime. Fathers parent differently even during the playtime by not hesitating to claim a win against their 5 years old. Generally speaking, it’s the fathers who introduce the dangerous games and physically violent actions in a child’s playtime.

From kicking, hitting, wrestling, and throwing their child into the air, to turning their child upside down is largely related to dads. He teaches the children about creating a clear distinction between aggression and timidity. Playtime with fathers is not always about crazy acts. It also incorporates learning self-control as when he says “that’s enough”, a child knows that he needs to stop before the father gets angry.

Fathers support differently

A father’s motto is to support their children in a way that encourages them to push the limits. Where moms are the comfort zone for the kids when it comes to supporting, fathers would hands-down ignore a child’s minor meltdowns and instill them to try again or suck it in. Father parents differently when their child needs support.

A father wants his children to know that they are there to support them but they will not tolerate any stupid or princess attitude. Dads are quick to remind their children that they have provided everything the child needs and the possibilities for growth. There’s no room for failure and staying in the comfort zone is not acceptable. This teaches the kids to become independent and be proud of themselves for trying hard enough even if they were not able to accomplish a goal.

Why Fathers Matter?

A dad can be a person of few words but his importance in a child’s life comes more from their presence. Which further extends to his availability and involvement as well. It is now a known fact, after years of research, that children who are raised with involved dads are more likely to lead better lives with improved cognitive abilities and educational success.

The fact that fathers parent differently as compared to mothers, adds a lot to a child’s character. Children with an engaged father are well-taught about self-control. They are less aggressive, less prone to substance abuse or behavioral issues, and have better self-esteem. Plus, fathers are all about bringing the “male” experience to the children which have unlimited benefits for the kids.

The male lens to the world

We have established the fact that a man and a woman are different in a million ways. Hence, fathers bring the male point of view into the perspective. Everything about a father is different. From the way they look, the way they communicate, the way they show their support, and the way they parent, to how they make you feel.

Stereotypically, children notice their dads doing the “manly” things and mothers busy with the “womanly things”. This provides an opportunity for the children to learn about how each copes up with life in their respective manner. A dad is the ambassador of the man’s world for the children. They learn most about men from their dad. There’s no secret that children tend to repeat the actions and expressions they learned about men in their adult life.

Fathers as husbands

Fathers influence their child’s intimate relationships as well. Children are like sponges, especially during their first 10-12 years. They build and set a few of the most important skills of life. One of them being their role in their intimate relationships. A father as the partner sets a pattern that the children will follow when they get involved in a relationship.

The way a man treats his wife speaks a lot about his character. It not only affects their relationship as a couple but also serves as a groundstone for their children’s future relationships. Simply put, fathers as partners serve as role models for the children to observe and learn how to treat women.

Boys with fathers, who were respectful and loving to their wives, are more likely to be good husbands themselves. They are raised as a respectful man who knows how to treat a woman well and be a great role model for their future kids.

Girls with such fathers are conscious about what they should or should not be looking for in a prospective husband/partner. It creates a checklist that helps her to select a boyfriend or husband. Plus, fathers are great at weeding the poor candidates themselves.

Fathers teach how to socialize

Dads are great when it comes to developing the child’s social skills. They provide social opportunities and how to steer through them in the outside world. Fathers teach conflict resolution, patterns of interaction, communication ques, and resilience when it comes to relationships and socialization.

Commonly, fathers are basically a guidebook for creating external relationships. Be in the playground or workplace. Although mothers are equally essential for creating a social circle, as we discussed earlier, fathers bring a different set of skills when teaching their children how to regulate and build boundaries in various social settings. 

Fathers encourage sports and extra-curricular activities which provide a chance to make friends as the first step. These spaces are also filled with like-minded people, which means, the child will be more comfortable in their clan for starters. Secondly, fathers often help children to understand about particular consequences that certain attitudes can have in the social world. This comes in handy for children to find the people and social gatherings that support their growth.

The Absence Of A Father Hits hard

The absence of a father is directly linked with the loss of the benefits that come with him. Simply because of the fact that the ways a father parent differently provides a unique learning experience that opens the gateway to new skills and capabilities. When a father is not involved in his child’s life or seems to be completely absent then it can have damaging effects.

Economically, fatherless households tend to be on the poor side of living. Be it financially or quality of living. Single moms try their hardest to provide a comfortable life but the goal is rather farfetched. At some point in their life, most fatherless families will face financial issues. On the other hand, where single moms are working to provide, the children are left on their own to raise themselves.

Fathers are like a safety net for the family. They are best known to be the protectors – emotionally and physically. The absence of a biological father leads to neglected children. Such instances may also get serious and can result in bullying, behavioral issues, self-sabotaging, low self-esteem, and abuse.

It all melts down to the point that a child needs their father as much as they need their mothers.

Take Away

Fatherhood is challenging because it is a major responsibility that a man can only realize once he steps in the fatherhood’s shoes. The world is full of worries that a father overtakes but he will always find ways to cater to his child in every possible way.

Great fathers are raised by great fathers. And there is so much more to that. Dads play their part in raising children who grow up to be confident, intellectual, and successful. It would be fair to say that a father is an institution that provides endless learnings and experiences for the betterment of their children which cannot be substituted by any other.

Subsequently, Fathers parent differently to provide a perfect combination of parenting experiences for the children. It is almost like a scale that has to be perfectly balanced by both parents. The absence of one can offset the balance and affect the child in the worst ways.

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