Ray-Zee

Every relationship goes through good and bad stages. Especially in this age, when everything is so perishable and replaceable. Maintaining and sticking to a relationship and committing to love has become much more complicated.

Five stages of Love – Only A Few Can Make It Through Stage 3

 

Every relationship goes through good and bad stages. Especially in this age, when everything is so perishable and replaceable. Maintaining and sticking to a relationship and committing to love has become much more complicated.

The dynamics of a relationship have evolved over these past few years. Our understanding and commitment to relationships are not the same as our parents. Experts believe that it’s the fear of commitment that is driving relationship apart today.

While is fun to experience the rush of emotions at the start of the relationship, it gets tougher when things get going. With time, certain situations arrive which test the limits of your relationship with your partner. If a couple goes through the situation strong, they fortify their relationship.

Love experts have divided the journey of relationships into five core stages. Every lasting couple goes through these stages. And every couple experiences these stages. However, only the most committed go past stage 3.

 

Stage 1: New Found Love

 

stage 1
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You just met someone capable of giving you butterflies every time you are together. It’s the best feeling of finding new love. Everything is in the fantasy or honeymoon phase. A rush of hormones, exciting emotions, suddenly your heart beats faster, every touch is electric and life is suddenly amazing. Well, you may have found your love.

The feeling you get during this stage is addictive. Hence, it’s very common for people to wish to prolong ‘the high’ you get just from being with someone you’re falling in love with. Because of this addictive feeling, this becomes the phase where sometimes you ignore the character defects and red flags wilfully.

Although, the memories you have of this stage are the things you will miss and wish for the most. Hold these memories close to your heart. Because you will need these in the next stages if you move forward.

 

 

 

Stage 2: Settling in

 
stage 2 love
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This is the stage when reality begins to creep in. Now that the fantasy phase is over, you will begin to notice each other’s flaws and mistakes. It’s also the stage when you try to figure out if you can actually work together as a couple or not.

It’s not like you are not in love anymore. It’s more about the feeling you repeatedly get that your partner is not the same as stage 1.

Now, the truth is that your partner is not in the wrong completely. Your body played a very tricky game here. At stage 1 of the relationship, your body released an enormous number of endorphins that ran through your body. These hormones gave you the ‘high’ feeling you loved and got addicted to. But your body can’t keep producing these hormones forever. As the hormones come back to normal, the fantasy seems to fade. Hence, you question yourself “am I really in love? Or was it just attraction?

At the same time, you can also build stronger feelings for each other and a desire to commit. The second stage is like choosing a path between two. Either you choose to go ahead to stage 3 or you choose to end this relationship here.

If you really thought that this was your calling for love, then don’t lose hope and the spark you had at the first stage. Invest a little more time and effort to make things special and build a stronger bond to move towards the next stages.

 

 

Stage 3: Disappointment, Routine, and Growth

 
stage 3 love
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This is the toughest stage and only the most committed relationships go through. Because this stage demands growth, acceptance, and patience. For many couples, the reality they endured in the second often becomes disappointment in the third stage.

You might feel like you are trapped in the relationship and drowning in everyday responsibilities. The relationship has no spark and your life is just about housework, bills, work, commitments, and sticking to the same old routine. You don’t feel as excited as you used to before. The romance is not the same, you both continuously argue on small things and life is basically doomed.

Undoubtedly, the third stage is the most dangerous part of the relationship. Since you are unaware that conflicts aren’t that bad and they can actually be healthy, you might often find yourself wondering if this is the end of your wonderful love story. In fact, you definitely have thought about getting a divorce or breaking up.

You need to learn and take responsibility for your own feelings. Yes, you love your partner but your partner shouldn’t be the sole reason for your happiness. Life is not just about your household, work, and kids. Work on yourself, love yourself and put yourself first. When you will enough love for yourself, your focus will shift from gaining the love to sharing the love with your partner.

Remember the amazing days you had during your first stage. Keep the spark alive and communicate. Because most couples cannot go past this stage without communication, trust, the ability to accept each other and work together as a team.

 

 

Stage 4: Stability and Comfort

 
stage 4 love
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You have finally crossed the wild waters and you are in a safe zone now. This stage is about being comfortable and maintaining emotional stability. You feel secure in your relationship. Stage 3 has taught you well about putting yourself first and giving your partner enough space so that they don’t feel trapped as well.

This is your comfort zone. But don’t get too comfortable and make your relationship bland. Your relationship still needs time, effort, and commitment. You have to find ways to keep the relationship running.

Plan date nights, indulge in fun conversation, try new things together, and spice things up for a happier and more stable relationship. Yes, you still might have differences. You sometimes will argue and fight, but you know that you love your partner. You have a strong base of trust and soul connection. You know that you can work through any future conflicts and still maintain that special bond.

 

Stage 5: Unconditional love and Commitment

 
stage 5 love
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This is the spiritual stage of love. Where your love for your partner becomes much bigger than their flaws and mistakes. Your love is stronger and will stay put regardless of the up and downs. You know the value your partner holds in your heart and appreciate their presence in your life.

This stage is the happy place for couples who have made it this far. They are a team, strong individually and together. Their love is mature and sustainable. But your love story doesn’t end here. Life goes on. You will encounter stiff situations. If you and your partner are committed to making the relationship grow and work, then you can overcome any hurdle in your way.

 

 

The Stages of a Romantic Relationship

These five stages are the transitioning stages of every romantic relationship on earth. These stages help you to understand your feelings about your partner and your relationship. You will be more aware of your own feelings and know it is completely common and natural to lose those early romantic feelings. But remember that much deeper and purer feelings await you in a later stage.

If your relationship is healthy then it’s worth fighting for. However, there is no set definition of a healthy relationship. Every relationship is different as people have different needs. Relationships also evolve. Your demands from a relationship will be different in the 30s as compared to what you thought was a perfect relationship in your 20s.

So basically, “healthy relationship” is a broad term. The success of a relationship depends on the people building it and their needs.

Relationships are not easy. And commitment takes courage. But it is the most amazing thing. Don’t let your temporary feelings damage what you thought was most precious. To advance through the relationship stages you need communication and hard work. It is worth the effort when you find the right person to share the journey. Read about the 10 things you need in a relationship to make it work.