The world is growing closer. It’s easier than ever to connect with someone miles apart. Thanks to our mobile and other digital devices that help us explore new opportunities beyond borders. One of those opportunities is finding love. Hence trying luck with a long-distance relationships.
The world is growing closer. It’s easier than ever to connect with someone miles apart. Thanks to our mobile and other digital devices that help us explore new opportunities beyond borders. One of those opportunities is finding love. Hence trying luck with long-distance relationships.
Long-distance relationships weren’t the standards back in the days. It only happened when the other person had to move abroad for a job or studies after the relationship became stable. And the partners had to adapt to the changes. And honestly, most relationships failed miserably.
Nowadays, there is a hike in long-distance relationships. It’s easier to fall in love and stay in touch with your partner even when you haven’t even met them in person. Yes! It sounds crazy but it is 100 percent true.
For some people, long-distance comes circumstantial. After they have found their one, but due to a certain reason, they get separated miles apart.
But like every other couple, long-distance relationships go through the stages of love. They face the reality, challenges, and try their best to make their relationship work.
Do long-distance relationships work?
Every relationship has its trials. But know that long-distance relationships can also work. In fact, most couples find themselves in a long-distance situation at some point in their relationship. Even if it didn’t last long but it’s common for couples to go through this phase as well and that too with success.
Whether you were separated or haven’t met before, there are some reality checks you have to keep in mind:
- It is an emotional roller-coaster and you might hate it at times
- Your digital device is technically your significant other
- It doesn’t get easier. You will be dealing with challenges and insecurities alone
- There might be trust issues because it’s easy being away from your partner and imagining what they might be doing
- Your friends won’t support you as much
- The reality feels heavy and you would want to give it all up
- Visiting your partner is never easy as timings are financials might be a concern
- Managing time for your partner becomes a task
- You might build some unrealistic views about the relationship which might come crashing down when you face the reality
- Might ignore some major red flags due to long-distance
It is due to all these reasons and more that about 40 percent of long-distance couples break-up around 4-5 months in the relationship. It is the same time when couples transition to the second stage of love.
Tips on making the relationship work
Nobody said it’s going to be easy. Your friends and family might discourage you, you will feel lonely, and will get sad at times. Even though long-distance requires much more than love, it has become infamous due to the failure rate. If you are really invested and committed to your relationship – nothing is impossible.
1. Avoid excessive communication
Although you might think that spending time together is the way to go to compensate for the distance. However, being clingy and possessive all the time can cost the relationship to lose its charm. You don’t need to be in contact 12 hours a day. You are going to exhaust yourself and your partner. Focus on quality than quantity.
2. Set ground rules and reality checks
When the relationship is long-distance, it becomes more important for you to set clear ground rules. These rules hold the base of your relationship and ensure that none of you is taken aback by surprise if the other does a specific thing. Like what is commitment level, and what you expect of each other?
3. Don’t be shy
Creativity and openness with your partner fuel the relationship. You are already miles apart. You wouldn’t want to make your relationship dry by being to yourself all the time. Keep the flames burning, tease each other, make flirtatious puns, and focus on the emotional needs.
4. Avoid troubling situations
Being careless in matters that might make your partner worried and suspicious is like jumping on the ax. If you are aware that your partner doesn’t appreciate you staying out till late with friends, then either don’t do it or tell your partner beforehand.
5. Make time for each other
Like I said earlier, focus on quality and not quantity. Even though you are miles apart but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have time for each other. Rather than just talking on the phone and messaging most of the time. Try doing stuff together. Like watching a movie together, play online games, or do online-shopping.
6. Be happy in your alone time
Self-love should be your priority. If you are not in love with yourself then you cannot love anybody else to your full potential. Take care of yourself and enjoy your alone time with yourself, family, and friends.
7. Know each other’s schedules
It is easier to communicate when you know your partner’s schedules. But this doesn’t mean to get obsessive about their schedule either. Know what are the important events in their life and try to support them.
8. Be honest, trustful, and loyal to each other
This goes without saying this loyalty, trust, and honesty are the core of any relationship. If you are really looking forward to making this relationship work then invest your loyalties in the relationship. Talk about your feelings and disclose any secrets that might affect the relationship later.
9. Celebrate and send gifts
Send each other small gifts and letters from time to time. Thanks to your best friend- The Internet, you can shop online and deliver anything literally anywhere in the world.
10. Stay positive
A long-distance relationship is very sensitive and susceptible to changes. You constantly have to breathe positivity into your relationship to keep it alive. It is going to get tough when emotions like fear, jealousy, possessiveness, sadness, and loneliness will take over your heart for some time. Be grateful for what you have and talk to your partner about your feeling often.
When to let go…
If you don’t stick through the tough times, the “love” seems to wear off. Indeed, the brutality of distance can actually drive you apart. Being together and facing relationship challenges is one thing. But being alone and trying to go through the relationship turbulence is a whole another story.
Sometimes the signs are very clear like cheating, lying, disrespect, nagging, negative criticism, abuse, or emotional starvation. Sometimes you are forced by the circumstances. And sometimes there is nothing that stands out as a red flag but you still feel unhappy and starved in the relationship.
If either one of you is not willing to provide what it really takes to nurture the relationship then why even bother at all?
You will know and feel it in your gut that there is nothing left in this relationship and you should move on. But I would suggest sleeping on the thought and avoid taking instant decisions.
Quotes for long-distance relationships
I have selected a couple of really good long-distance relationship quotes that might help you pull through this journey. Send it to your partner and let them know that you care and love them.
- “Love will travel as far as you let it. It has no limits.” – Dee King
- “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.” – Charles M. Schulz
- “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” – Kahlil Gibran
- “That farewell kiss which resembles greeting, that last glance of love which becomes the sharpest pang of sorrow.” – George Eliot
- “I exist in two places, here and where you are.” – Margaret Atwood
- “Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.” – Meghan Daum
- “I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart.” – Nicholas Sparks
- “The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.” – Charles Dickens
- “Your absence has not taught me how to be alone; it has merely shown me that when together we cast a single shadow on the wall.” – Doug Fetherling
- “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” – Albert Ellis
Several studies have revealed that long-distance relationships have equal if not higher chances of success, satisfaction, effective communication, and intimacy. So you have a fair shot.
Don’t get disheartened by what others have to say about their experience. Sure, there are going to be challenges but you can make it work if you are willing to. All you have to focus on is making your relationship happy and healthy.
Even after your honest attempts to make the relationship work, things go south, then you would know that you did what you had to make it work. But sometimes the universe has other plans.
Always remember to put self-love and self-care before anything else!!!
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