Ray-Zee

One really cool thing about parenting is that it is often unique in how we decide to raise our children. But surprisingly, there are enough similarities that psychologists and researchers have grouped parents into 5 main groups depending on their parenting style.

Parenting Styles – Do You Know Where You Fall And Its Impact

One really cool thing about parenting is that it is often unique in how we decide to raise our children. But surprisingly, there are enough similarities that psychologists and researchers have grouped parents into 5 main groups depending on their parenting style.

parenting styles

These five parenting styles are a mix of different parenting techniques and how you employ them to raise your kids. Whatever parenting style you choose to raise your kids with, obviously it is going to shape how your kids perceive life and how to operate in the surroundings.

So, what is your parenting style, and how might be impacting your children? Here is a detailed article about parenting styles with clues on which parenting camp you might fall in.

 

Types of Parenting Styles

While there is no black-and-white or right-and-wrong about parenting styles. Based on how it impacts a child and how a parent uses the parenting techniques, there are mainly five groups.

 

1. Authoritarian Parenting

“High demand and low responsiveness”

 

Authoritarian parents tend to have very high demands and strict rules. But less support and guidance with strict punishments if rules aren’t followed. They also don’t allow their kids to get involved in problem-solving and serious family discussions.

They just make the rules and enforce them on the child without the child’s opinion. Their approach is more domineering and dictatorial.

Their main focus is obedience without question. Authoritarian parents believe that the only way to discipline their child is to bend their child’s will and make the child do as they like.

It’s more like “do as I said!” rather than a mutual approach. More than disciplining their child, authoritarian parents focus on punishments. They want to make the kid feel sorry for their mistakes.

While the authoritarian parenting style is good to teach children the respect of rules. But it also may make the children afraid, lonely, and withdrawn. And may have the following impact:

  • Children who have authoritarian parents are more likely to be aggressive and hostile
  • They might even have self-esteem issues
  • They focus on the reaction they might get from their parents rather than focusing on how to do it better
  • Children may even grow up to be good liars and manipulators to avoid strict consequences

Are you an authoritarian parent?

Answer the following questions honestly to figure out if you fall in the category of authoritarian parents:

  • Do you make your child feel sorry for their mistake?
  • Do you take into consideration what your child has to say?
  • Is your parenting motto “my way or the highway”?
  • Are the feelings of your child meaningless and immature to you?
  • Whenever your child does something wrong, is your child more afraid of how you might react than how to solve the problem?

If any of these questions ring a bell, then chances are that you are an authoritarian parent. And you believe that your child should follow the rules without any question and do as you say!

 

2. Authoritative Parenting

“High standards but offer lots of guidance and support”

 

Authoritative parenting is a better version of authoritarian parenting. The parents like to set high standards and rules. But they also provide support and guidance for their children to achieve those standards and follow the rules.

Authoritative parents are more likely to validate their children’s feelings than completely ignore them. They do have rules and show that they are in charge but they also take into account what their child might have to say about it. The key is that they know that when their child needs warmth, feedback, and support.

They invest their time and effort into positive parenting like praise, rewards, and reinforcing good behavior. The disciplinary methods are assertive, supportive, and nurturing than punitive. Their focus is on preventing behavioral problems before they start.

So, they tend to be efficient and cohesive in decision-making and avoid any safety risks on their own. These are the impacts of authoritative parenting:

  • The combination of expectations and support makes this an effective parenting style. That helps the children learn independence, self-regulation, and self-control
  • Children with authoritative parents are more likely to be socially responsible and happier in life
  • The children learn from their parents how to be good at decision making and evaluate their safety risks
  • They grow up to be adults who feel comfortable in expressing their opinions confidently

Are you an authoritative parent?

If you are an authoritative parent, then most of your answers will be yes to the following questions:

  • You like to explain why you have a certain rule
  • There are rules with consequences but you like to listen to your child’s opinion
  • You child is not afraid when they make a mistake, of how hostile your reaction might be
  • The main focus is to maintain a happy and healthy relationship with your child
  • Positive parenting is your go-to rather than punishments and making your child feel guilty
  • The approach towards discipline is mutual rather than “my way or highway” tactics

 

3. Permissive Parenting

“Have almost no rules or limits with limited guidance and support”

 

Permissive parents have a hard time enforcing rules and limits on their children. Even when they have rules, they are inconsistent with keeping up with the rules. Basically, they are extremely lenient and forgiving.

Permissive parents like to stay involved in their child’s life but they lack in judging what might be a behavioral issue. They want to cater to every need and demand of their child. Usually, no is never the answer and they allow almost everything.

The parents who fall under the permissive parenting style, think that they are “more like a friend” to their child than an authoritative parent. They feel that the child can figure out what they want on their own. The children are not monitored closely and they tend to have a lot of freedom.

Although it may look like children who grow up with permissive parents will be independent and awesome but research proves otherwise. These might be the impacts:

  • Children throw tantrums literally anywhere and everywhere
  • They cannot take no for an answer
  • More likely to do poorly in school with poor emotional and social consequences
  • The children may even suffer from depression, anxiety, loneliness, and internalizing the pain
  • Have a poor relationship with their parents due to a lack of emotional attachment
  • Children with permissive parents are very skeptical about life and have trust issues.

Are you a permissive parent?

A permissive parent would have little to no control over the child. This may allow kids to be a free thinker who isn’t afraid to speak their mind but it also has many disadvantages. If these statements sound like you then you are a permissive parent:

  • Do as you like!
  • There are hardly any rules or boundaries in our household
  • Your child doesn’t listen to you and you can’t seem to do anything about it
  • You only interfere in your child’s life when there is a severe problem
  • Your child doesn’t seek your permission or approval
  • There are no solid consequences to bad behavior
  • The common attitude is “kids will be kids”

4. Free-range Parenting

“Have few rules but allows the child to do what they can rather than what they want.”

 

This particular parenting style is almost like a mix of authoritarian and permissive parenting. The parents encourage independence as long as the child follows the rules. They believe that allowing their kids to experience life without constant interference is important.

Their parenting motto is to let the child do what they CAN as long as they are safe. They enforce rules and boundaries and expect their child to follow them. For example, free-range parents may allow their 8-year-old to walk to school alone only if he goes straight to school and back.

While for some it may seem ok to let the child walk to school alone, others might find it dangerous and even neglectful. As there might be a safety loop-hole here.

Free-range parenting is still not widely accepted because there are still laws against letting children below a certain age do certain things by themselves. But it sure does have some positive and negative impacts.

  • The children with free-range parents are great with problem-solving skills
  • They are even resilient and very confident
  • Their creative skills are enormous because they explore things on their own
  • The child may face increased risks without proper supervision
  • The child may feel neglected and alone

Are you a free-range parent?

Free-range parents have a different view. They allow their child to experience life independently. While there are safety risks involved. If any of the statements ring a bell, you are probably a free-range parent.

  • You like to prepare your kid for things ahead
  • Your focus is to ensure your child is ready for future
  • Allowing your child to try new things is a norm
  • There are rules but you don’t have a “my way or the highway” approach
  • You can leave your kid to play alone in the backyard
  • Your goal is to make your child independent and responsible

 

5. Attachment Parenting

“Mild expectations and more focus on building a close relationship”

 

As the name suggests attachment parenting style is focused on building a maintaining a strong relationship with the children. This nurturing connection is their way to raise children who are secure, independent, and empathetic.

Attached parents base their parenting on these eight principles:

  • Being involved through pregnancy and birth
  • Feeding with love and respect. Most attached parents would prefer breastfeeding their new-born.
  • Their responses are sensitive to how their child might be feeling or trying to showcase through actions
  • They love to be there with their kids all the time. They like hugging, cuddling, holding hands with their kids
  • Most attached parents have no problem with co-sleeping. In fact, they would happily share their bed or room with their child.
  • The punitive approach is not acceptable. They like to understand why their child is behaving in a certain way
  • Spending time together is critical. Attached parents would consciously take time out to spend with their children.
  • A work-life balance is essential.

The attached parenting style is the new trendy one these days. More than 80 percent of millennial parents today are choosing to be an attached parent. It sure does have some pros and cons:

  • Research shows that it is beneficial for neuromotor skills
  • The children with attached parents have confident, attentive, emotionally stable personalities
  • Your child might become self-obsessed and use to constant attention
  • The parent personal life gets disturbed
  • The child may throw tantrums when not given proper attention

Are you an attached parent?

If you resonate with the eight-parenting principle mentioned above, you are most likely an attached parent. You like to stay connected and close to your children and provide the best emotional and physical support to your child for a stable and secure future.

 

Takeaway

One style doesn’t fit all. You might find yourself belonging to more than one parenting style. And this is perfectly okay. You don’t need to despise the fact that there will be times when you are a permissive parent and other times an authoritative parent.

Most parents work for the best of their children. They all want to provide what they think will suit fit. However, studies show that authoritative parenting is the best approach to raise children who are responsible, have high self-esteem, and mental security.

Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship with your kids is essential. Parents are children’s idols. Children learn almost everything about social living from their parents. Be mindful of that and choose positive parenting rather than punitive parenting.

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