Ray-Zee

Motherhood is difficult for all in some way or the other. Similarly, single moms are no different than married ones. All that differs is the hard work required to succeed, lengths of struggles, and obstacles in survival. You may be divorced, widowed, never married, separated, co-parenting, or chose to be a single mom, the life experiences as a single mom will change you as a person.

Single Mom – Successes, Struggles, and Survival

Motherhood is difficult for all in some way or the other. Similarly, single moms are no different than married ones. All that differs is the hard work required to succeed, lengths of struggles, and obstacles in survival. You may be divorced, widowed, never married, separated, co-parenting, or chose to be a single mom, the life experiences as a single mom will change you as a person.

single mom
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

 

The life of a single mom is literally a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment she is enjoying her success while in the very next moment she regrets not spending more time with her kids. One moment she is happy to meet someone new who might fit her family perfectly, but the very next moment she is worried what if he doesn’t?!

This article is for all the hustling single moms out there who are nurturing their kids, working on their careers, and trying to maintain the work-life balance to its utmost definition. Here are some advice and words of wisdom that may help you move forward and look past all the negativity around you.

 

 

1. People’s judgments don’t matter

Even though the stigma attached to single moms is much less than what it used to be a few years back, you will have experiences where people will judge you and your character for choosing and staying as a single mom or choosing to remarry. Be it any way, people will always judge no matter what the situation is. If you are not thick skin, those judgments will sink in and will drive you crazy.

Now the reality is that those people are not paying for your living. They don’t know what you go through daily. If someone tries to pass the line, then you know what to do. Otherwise, you can just ignore their silly judgments and move on with your life. You have much more to accomplish than explaining your life to people to wouldn’t even understand.

 

 

2. Build your close circle

It may seem impossible to keep up with your friend’s circle, but you need your close friends to stick with you. There will be situations where you will be surrounded by a million questions or situations you can’t understand. A close group of friends whom you can trust and depend on for the right advice will always help you get through that difficult time.

Even for the sake of your mental health, you must talk to somebody about your feelings, your struggles, and your daily life orchestra. Knowing that there are people who understand you and will be there when you need them will lift off some pressure.

 

 

3. Don’t hide the father

Talking about the partner who isn’t there is always hard. There might be a hundred reasons why you would want to avoid having the conversation about your partner with your kids. But, trust me when I say this, your kids want to know more about their dad and they will ask you questions about it as well. If your kids are grown-ups and understand why you are in a single state then it’s fine. Younger kids, however, feel the loss of a very important person from their life.

Be ready to answer honestly. The more you try to avoid or hide the information, the more your kid will speculate. So, it’s better to talk to your kids once in a while about their father. Share stories that are happy and show love and affection rather than hate and arguments. Kids, in general, are very sensitive and they might hold something you said very close to their heart. Speaking negatively about their father may scar them for life.

 

 

4. Don’t hesitate to take help

There’s no shame in accepting or asking for help from your family or friends. It might seem weird in the beginning as you will be continuously worrying about what they might think and how your kid might react but it isn’t much big of a deal. But don’t be the person who just asks for help but does nothing in return. As a courtesy, you can offer to take care of their kids, or gift something to them or something to pay off the help.

 

 

5. Work on yourself and put yourself first

Working on yourself or putting yourself first doesn’t mean compromising your parenting. It means keeping your mental state at its best so that you can offer the best to your kids. As often as you can, do things which you like and things which will make you better at what you do. Remember that, happy mom raises happy kids.

If you need to get more education, then get it. Don’t hold back thinking about your kids. Your kids will understand and will be proud of you. Take some time off from the mommy duties. Let someone trusted, babysit your kids while you take some me-time doing whatever you love.

Try to go for a walk or do a 15-minute workout to put your mind in place. Any form is exercise is a great way to give you a boost of energy and uplift your mood for the rest of the day. And don’t forget to take care of your mental health as it is equally important.

 

 

6. Budget and save for the longer term

If you are the sole earner in your family, then you have to start saving for the future. Even if it’s just 5 percent of your income or even less. Saving is a mindset. You will have to build it and then maintain it by being persistent and regular.

Start budgeting your income and expenses and try to stay on track for the whole month. You will begin to see results in just a few months. There are so many tips and tricks on how you can manage your finances most efficiently.

 

 

7. You can fall in love again

Your life is not just about surviving with your kids and work. It goes much beyond that. Don’t be afraid to meet new people. Yes, you might be scared or anxious because of your previous relationship but not everybody and every situation are the same.

Take your time and don’t rush into things. But there’s no harm in exploring love and accepting if you find the right one.

 

 

8. Your kids are your strength, not your weakness

Treat your kids are your strength not as people who might hold you back in life. At present, it may seem impossible to pursue your dreams while taking care of your kids at the same time. You would want to give up but remember that time never remains the same.

Single parent’s kids become mature before their age. They will understand how hard you work to give them a living and they will support you and your work 100 percent. You should focus on putting in the efforts today to have a ripe and fruitful future.

 

 

9. You are independent and empowered

You are strong and capable of achieving your dreams and be an amazing mother at the same it. Yes, you have a lot on your plate, to begin with, but you have what it takes. So, dust the sadness off your shoulders. Celebrate your successes even if they are small and learn from your failures and move past them. You are a boss lady and let nobody tell you otherwise.