I know, a “hysterical” question that is often used to understand what a woman truly desires. I feel, like everything else in our society, this question was also developed just to look down upon on women. Make women complicated, confused, and non-reliable beings. I have often experienced it myself, especially men using the “what women want” term, again and again, to enforce how unsure a woman is about everything in her life and how difficult it is to understand them. Is this true? No. Does anybody care about this? Also no

What Women Want From You – The Dark Side Of Evolution

I know, a “hysterical” question that is often used to understand what a woman truly desires. I feel, like everything else in our society, this question was also developed just to look down upon on women. Make women complicated, confused, and non-reliable beings. I have often experienced it myself, especially men using the “what women want” term, again and again, to enforce how unsure a woman is about everything in her life and how difficult it is to understand them. Is this true? No. Does anybody care about this? Also no.

what women want

Astonishingly, this question dates back to the 1950s when Dr. Sigmund Freud (also a misogynist) said to Marie Bonaparte:

‘The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”

I mean, yes it may be difficult for some men to understand what a woman wants. It may be genuine or completely made up. it may be because the woman they are with may not be doing the things they want. Or the woman does not trust enough to open up about her real self. Either way, it is projected as if the only thing not in place is a woman’s head. As men are always right about life and making decisions in general, it is difficult for them to understand why a woman would choose a particular option or act a certain way when there are more viable options (according to them) available to opt.

I have never argued the fact that men and women are different in many ways. There is no question about it! But there are also reasons why women have become the way they have. Society has always treated women as a complicated one. Now tell me, when you think about words like complicated, difficult to understand or explain to, doesn’t it redirect your brain to the word woman? Even so that Romans used the woman to describe something that was complicated.

The Question itself – What do women want?

Firstly, this question isn’t respectful. It’s rather condescending and elusive. Lumping all the women and assuming that the answer will be a one-size-fits-all doesn’t seem to be a smart move eh! Like every human being, every woman is also different. Everyone has different standards, likings, and dislikes. Therefore, the question should rather be “how should I find out about what a woman wants?”

Creating a more personalized approach to evaluate the woman you are interested in is a much better idea than applying generalities to her. I have not met a woman in my life who is ever happy to answer this question. Most women would straight up ignore the question because they can tell by the other person’s body language that it is more of an insult than a genuine question. And others would redirect the question by saying “what do you think we want?”

Honestly, centuries of trauma have forced women to become insecure about themselves and their surroundings. Moreover, women have been designed to show love, empathy, and care towards other people. The deadly combination of world and science has made women what they are today. Again, there is not a specific word to describe women. Different societies have mended women differently. Some became offensive, while others may be submissive, and so on.

So Exactly What Is It That A Woman Want Today?

Now that we have discussed a little bit of women’s history, it’s time to dive into some necessities that most women would agree with. The things I am about to mention aren’t the ones you might have in mind. Instead, I want to bring up some facts that most societies are lacking to provide to a woman.

The times have changed, women have changed. It was considered okay to disrespect, disregard, and dehumanize women but the current age does not allow nor accept any of these. The evolution has provided women with independence, strength, courage, and possibilities to do and speak their mind and be their person rather than a dependent being.

The following are the most essential things that a woman today wants. Give these to a woman and she will shine bright like a diamond. You will see the happiest, most confident, and positive woman ever.

1.  Respect

Most people would think that they already respect women and there is no doubt about it. Surprisingly, small gestures matter the most. If you are not respecting her point of view and disregarding everything she says based on her gender, then that’s not respect.

To truly respect a woman, you have to treat her like an equal. Her points may also have some good ideas. She has her personality, her own identity, and her own experiences which means that she has all the right in the world to speak her mind and do what she likes. You may have some alternate ideas and that’s fine too but it shouldn’t negate her point of view.

2.  Positivity

Treating women with offensive humor isn’t the best thing to do. When you talk to or about a woman, you have to show positivity and add to her rather than bring her down by saying or doing derogatory things. Positivity is one of the important things that a woman wants.

She wants to receive positivity from others. She doesn’t want to be judged and shamed for who she is. Just think about it, the things we can say for women very openly objectify her by every means but the same can’t be said or done for most men. The way women are treated with utmost negativity isn’t justifiable.

3.  Attention

Women are always seeking validation. First from her parents, then family, friends, and ultimately from society. Have you ever considered why most women would ask their partners about how they look? It’s not because she is obsessing over her image. She is seeking admiration from her partner. She wants to know if she is desirable to her partner or not.

It’s more psychological than you can imagine. Women have always been objectified and used for their bodies. Her physical appearance matters the most for society. The ones that lack that are always left behind. And the ones in the race are always worrying about the way they look so that they can still be in the race. How cruel and inhumanly in that! Disgusting.

4.  Rights

Women have been asking for their rights for as long as I can remember. When you think about it, women asking for their rights have also been considered as an unrealistic thing that women are after.  The concept of women’s rights and what women may want as human beings are often considered funny and stupid by most men.

When you get down to it, all women are asking is to live free from violence and discrimination and enjoy a life full of equal financial opportunities and standards of living. At a smaller level, women want equality and respect in the household. She wants to be able to choose for herself what she wants to do.

5.  Safety

The biggest hindrance for women even in today’s age and time is safety. Women aren’t safe, not in their homes, societies, or gatherings. There have been constant incidents of violence with women all around the world. In some places, such malpractices are often considered normal practice.

Rape statistics for 2022 shows that in South Africa almost 66,000 rapes incidents occur per 100,000 people. It’s absurd, but it exists boldly. Women want to be felt safe in their spaces. Be it their homes, offices, gathering, and public places.

6.  Trustworthiness

It shouldn’t come as a surprise; women crave being trusted. They are considered immature, nonserious, with a lack of judgment. In most places, women are not taken seriously about their ambitions and goals. People think whatever the woman is aiming for, she cannot achieve. Why is that?

A woman wants to be trusted by the people around her especially that she can achieve what she puts her eye too. There’s no need to pull her down again and again by doubting her intentions. She wants to be trusted enough and supported by her friends and family in her decisions.

7.  Stability

The state of stability has a different meaning for every individual. However, at mass, being stable for women is defined as being married with kids at home. Society seems to forget that yes, this may be the case a decade back but now women are focused on their careers and dreams. For some, it still may be the case but you cannot generalize it for every woman.

For a woman to be stable and settled, she does not have to get married and/or have kids. Hence, women want society to not limit their life and stability with marriage and having kids. Unmarried ladies with or without kids are very well settled as well. Sometimes even better than the married ones.

8.  Maturity

Although most women reach the age of maturity a decade before men, still they are considered immature. A question I find hard to fathom is why is it so difficult to take a woman seriously? Just because she may be emotional, empathetic, and out there doesn’t mean she can’t be mature.

The way our society has shaped the image defies mature women yet demands it at the same time. A woman who speaks her mind takes care of herself and her family, stands tall in her decisions, and much more is called with the most disrespectful names. A woman wants to be able to be comfortable at her age and mind and live her life without judgment and disrespect.

9.  Representation

Everything that a woman does is wrong for some or other reason. There is so much that a woman goes through on a daily that they are almost becoming immune to it. For a woman to be accepted by society is nearly impossible because she has to match a particular image to be likable.

She cannot have grey hair, wrinkles, stretch marks, normal body, preferences, or a mind of herself. While all of these things can be acceptable for men but are highly unacceptable for women. She is called a million slangs if she even tries to state otherwise and choose her mental health above everything else. A woman wants to be represented with grace, respect, beauty, and imperfections that are human.

10.  Strength

Have you ever related strength with a woman? No, right. Strength is a trait particularized with men and rightfully so as men are “physically” stronger than women. The innate qualities of strength like creativity, endurance, empathy, tolerance, and integrity lie with womanhood but that’s not considered a strength for the most sexist reasons.

A woman wants to be known for her strength irrespective of how her body looks. The power of strength is owned by the mind more than the body. Plus, like several other traits, strength is also personal. There is no weight competition going on to signify one’s strength.

A Word from Me

The best you can do is not bring others down irrespective of gender. Notice how I didn’t say that men are the ones indulging in sexism because they are not the only ones. Some women thrive on bringing other women down. A piece of advice that will benefit you for life is not to say anything if you have nothing good to say.

People are already self-conscious and well-aware of their flaws, women having an upper hand at that. Life is tough for most women. They deal with micro-aggression daily. I am not asking you to start being extra careful towards women. All I am asking is to live and let live. Do not try to over-power a woman just because of her gender. Let her have experiences, successes, failures, and paths. She does not need to be rescued or called out all the time.

Moreover, if you are concerned, let her know that and just be there “when” she needs you.

Apply what we discussed in this article with the women in your life and see the difference in their personalities and confidence. The moment you show her some light, you will see a woman that was probably hiding behind all the judgment, negativity, and societal pressure.

Do let me know if you noticed some differences after applying these suggestions on my social accounts you can find below. I hope this article helped you in the best way possible. if there are any suggestions you would like to read about then tag me.


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